A lesson in Humility

February 4, 2015

Today was a pretty good P-day.  It was a huge rest for me.  Elder Ware and Elder Leon went to the Buin Zoo while Elde Diaz and I just chilled, read, and slept.  Sooooo nice.  Elder Diaz and I also went to la Cisterna to get some new Mate cups.  We got really cook wooden ones and we also got a good lunch.  After emailing we went to work.  We had 2 decent lessons and next to no contacts. Our miracle of the day was with G. and her previously unreceptive husband (actually they are not married).

Miracle #135: This investigator participated in our lesson and he also gave the closing prayer

February 5, 2015

         Today I almost didn’t write in my journal.  I decided to take the time though, because I have been on my mission for 6 monhts and I have never skipped a day. Today I did a special division with Elder Castro.  He is an elder in my zone who doesn’t get along very well with the other missionaries, but he gets along very well with me.  It was a lot of fun, especially in the evening.

Miracle #136: I actually have a friend in the mission field! PSYCH, Real miracle: one of my morning contacts stopped us later on in the day and asked us to come and teach her.

         Elder Castro and I went through all of my ties and I gave him a bunch of them and also threw out the ones that I don’t like.  I think that I still have over 100 ties.  It is absolutely ridiculous – but I love it at the same time.

February 6, 2015

         Today was really bad.  Every single appointment except for one fell through.  We ended up contacting a ton, which was all right I guess. We visited EVERY plan A and plan B and ALL fell through.  Our miracle was during our division with a member.

Miracle #137: We ran into a person that we have been looking for for a very long time and they want us to come and visit with them tomorrow. 

         The funny part of the day was with morning contacts with Elder Castro.  I was all happy (actually I was faking it) and I said, “Hi, how are you today?” to this girl and she didn’t move a muscle or respond at all.  I thought that she had earphones in so I told that to Elder C.out loud and then looked closer and saw that she was just ignoring us.  She heard everything we said but was so grumpy that she would not even say hi.  Haha!

         Oh, another experience happened today when I got a little upset with the other elders during lunch.  Don’t worry it was actually respectful and tactful believe it or not.  The other elders were speaking in English except for Elder Vasquez who doesn’t speak any English or understand any English.  I said, “How can we have a unified district when our conversations are not inclusive.  It is rude and thoughtless to leave Elder V. out.” 

February 7, 2105

         Today was all right. We had a good time, although we didn’t do companionship study because I was cleaning.  For me, the disorganization doesn’t bother me, but the filth really irks me.  I just clean to the point where I can stand it and then I leave the rest alone.

         Our miracle happened when one of our newer investigators shared her experience with her pastor with us.

Miracle #138: D. told her pastor that she feels the spirit more when the missionaries teach her than when she attends her church. She also told him that she like reading the Book of Mormon more than the Bible even though she knows the Bible is still very important scripture.

         The cool part of the day is that I am learning some ghetto Peruvian Spanish.  I am practicing speaking with Elder V. all the time that I can. 

February 8, 2015

         Today was irritating.  I blew up a little at my comp again today and he has been annoying me all day.  The miracle of the say was the way that I was able to cope with my irritation without losing my temper. 

Miracle #139:  Lunch was late today which gave me time to practice piano for an hour (usually I get 5-10 minutes a week).  It was AMAZING and I loved every second.  I realized after playing how much better it makes me feel.  I miss that part of my life so much.

         We had a service opportunity tonight to help some members move a bed. We had to move it upstairs and it wouldn’t fit up the staircase.  We ended up taking out part of their staircase to get it up there.  It was really fun for me to work on a project like that. 

         The funny part of the day was in a lesson with our unmarried investigator couple.  I did not feel it was the right time to teach the law of chastity but my companion did.  So he taught it in a very awkward and uncomfortable way.  The guy we were teaching was sitting next to me and for some reason started patting my back.  As he was patting me, I let out a good sized belch accidentally.  Our investigators laughed and laughed which was good because it cut the awkward tension in the room. 

February 9, 2015

         Today started out ROUGH!  I am just dang tired of the way things are going in our pigsty/house.  Everyday I get more fed up with the other missionaries with all of their talk about girls and “deep “ doctrine and stuff that missionaries shouldn't really be focused on.  I usually just try to keep quiet and separate myself to do something else, but I am feeling pretty lonely in the crowd. So today I had an interview with the president where I learned that  I have a "reputation" for losing my temper.  I love President Cook because he doesn’t condemn me for ANYTHING.  He is very kind and patient and he wants to help me overcome my weaknesses.  He is willing to give me a blessing and to do a special fast with me. 

So it is cool with my President, but outside of his office, I have no idea what to do.  I am stuck.  I am pissed and the other missionaries, and I am even more pissed at myself because I don’t feel like a missionary. I don’t want to have the temper that I do, but I have seen minimal changes in this aspect of my life.  I just don’t think that I have the strength that I need to finish this mission.  I feel done, or at least I felt done before today’s miracle. 

         I was really feeling awful after talking with the president and I just wanted to pack it up and go home.  Seriously, I was miserable. When I got back to the house, I separated myself from the other elders and just sat to think about my situation.  I had no hope and decided that I had to get help from the Lord to figure it out. Basically I just begged to know what to do and expressed all of my thoughts and feeling to the Lord including my thoughts of leaving the mission.

Miracle #140: While I was praying I go ta distinct answer to read my scriptures in 2 Nephi 2.  After my prayer, I read that chapter of scriptures, in which Jacob was feeling so downtrodden and abused by his older brothers that his father, Lehi, gave him a blessing to help him to know of the love of the Lord.  As I read this passage, I was overwhelmed by a feeling of support and love of the Lord.  He was pleased with the efforts that I am making even though I am not perfect and he wants me to keep trying and continue my work.

         After my miracle, my day was really good.  I learned that I have to rely on the Lord a lot more than I have been doing in order to finish this mission.  I have to pour my heart out to Him more often so that he can help me.  And, I have to keep trying no matter what.  I can’t promise that I won’t lose my temper every again, but I want to work on it.  I want to be a trustworthy, hard-working, devoted, and loving missionary and person. Humble would be nice too, but after today I am feeling super humbled so I think that I am getting there. 

February 10, 2015

         Today I felt really good.  Even though it was not a very good day, I was still happy.  There was a ton of funny points that happened today.  My miracle of the day was with a really frustrating contact with a lady who only wanted to argue.

Miracle #141: I felt like I needed to contact her and I didn’t know why especially after she was so aggressive. Right as I was about to give up, a man walked in and said, “Hey, I am a baptized Mormon and I want to come back to church.”  It turned out that he set appointments for us to return.

         One of the funniest parts of the day was when we were walking down the street and saw some people sitting upstairs on a balcony and talking. We decided to contact them and as we climbed the staircase to the balcony and turned a corner, they all just ran inside to avoid us.  Elder L. and I had a really hard laugh about it. 
We are starting to do better with our relationship.  The biggest thing is that we are working on talking to each other with respectful terms and without sarcasm. The missionaries in the house are also working on using more respectful terms and have finally cut out the use of the N-word. Things are improving AND I only have three more weeks of this transfer.