Tuesday, April 7, 2015

Snap, Crack, and POP

March 25, 2015
         Elder C. is soooo tough.  He got so angry with me that he almost punched me in the face and he destroyed the kitchen.  He pushes and pushes and pushes all of my buttons and I occasionally find myself goaded by his taunts, for example when he called me a very foul word in Spanish.  I almost hit him then, but I didn’t.  He also makes fun of me when I pray to ask God for help with my anger.  I want to change so badly, but this situation is not helping me.
Miracle #183: Elder Johnson showed me an article called “Upon the Top of the Waters” that applies to my situation right now perfectly.
         The funny(not) part of the day was when I ended my computer time early so as to be able to end p-day on time.  I then had to wait an additional 20 minutes for my companion to finish.  Then we had no fun contacting with a very angry, unrepentant, and unforgiving Elder C.
March 26, 2015
         Today was a great day even though Elder C. was trying to irritate me.  To be fair, I realized today that I did a little bit of retaliation which is just really dumb and immature.  But, I recognized when I was doing it (a big step for me) and I apologized right away.  What is really the most frustrating is that when I am sincerely apologetic, he says, “ oh, it’s okay, I am used to your pride making you angry. You’re never going to change.”
Miracle #184: (not really a miracle) One of our investigators turned out to be the mother of one of the less active members we are working with.
         The fun part of the day was talking with a member who had to return from his mission early.  He loves speaking in English and he is pretty good. 
         Most of the lessons today were taught solo by Elder C.  He starts talking and talks and talks and talks, and then it is time to go.  
March 27, 2015
         Today was rough with the companionship.  I just kept my mouth shut all morning and I am starting to see a lot more of my own faults and weaknesses through looking at my companion. I am going to do my best to change and when I mention that I really want to do better, he says, “Well I wish that I could see the change, but I can’t.”
Miracle #185: We met a girl who was crying in the street so I contacted her and it turns out that she lives right above our newly baptized member.  She has a really big desire to learn.
         The fun part of the day was going to mutual because we are the “secretaries”.  Basically it was fun to hang out with the bishop who is very much like Bishop McLaws.  We are already very good friends.  We have a great connection. Something really funny is that the Bishop does not like it when the members use the informal “tu” form of verbs when speaking to the missionaries, but he struggles to NOT talk to me using the tu form.  It makes me laugh, and I need to laugh.
Our great Bishop!
March 28, 2015
         Today was an interesting day.  We started to do morning contacts really early - 7:00 in the morning. My companion got up at 6:00 to get ready which meant that I also got up at 6:00. But then after the morning contacts, and during my personal studies, I just struggled a LOT to stay awake.  Usually I don’t have any problems staying awake, but I guess that extra 30 minutes early just wiped me out.  Well that set of my companion and he got really really pissed at me.  He just ripped me apart. He was worried that I was going to make him late for the work day.  Well we left on time at 11:00, returned for lunch at 1:00.  Then when we were supposed to leave again at 2:00 Elder C. wasn’t ready to go.  I sat silently at the door until 3:45 ready to go and waiting for him.
Miracle #186: I am finally starting to overcome my pride to the point that I can see my own faults and errors, and I recognize the role that I play in interpersonal conflicts.
         The fun part of the day was this evening when we had to come back to the house at 6:00 because today and tomorrow are days of protest in Chile.  The bishop came over and we all hung out for 3 hours just eating TONS of food and playing games.  I am a very loud person and that is one thing that I am trying to work on.  It was hard to not be loud in this situation.  I really like the bishop because he has a great sense of humor.

March 29, 2015
         Well I am pretty sure that I am getting a new companion in an emergency transfer today.  We had another falling out and this time it was me who blew up (actually I blew up in response to my companion blowing up). It started when we came back from church and I wanted to study so I asked my comp if he would change his music to a more reverent choice.  He refused, so I asked him to turn the volume down.  He refused again so I paused his music for him and then he got very upset.  At that same time, I accidentally placed my lunch plate (with greasy chicken) on a portion of his desk and got up to get some water.  When he saw that he wigged out and threw the plate so it landed upsided down on my scriptures and left it there.  When I returned to the room, I saw that my scriptures were ruined by the chicken and that just flipped a switch in me.  I basically threw a childish fit (that did not involve hitting him.)  Then he got mad and literally destroyed my desk.  EVERYTHING was ripped out, broken, and thrown.  He ruined one of my shirts and started getting in my face. Still I did not hit him (which is the real miracle of the day,) but I did yell, and YELL, and YELL.  I am not proud of that fact and I feel so so so bad about it because it was a huge step backwards for me in my progress.
Miracle #187: Elder Chavez really helped me to feel better about the situation and see that I can move past this.
         The absolute best part of the day was when we were doing contacts and Elder C. was standing there not paying any attention like he always does.  A street dog came up and sniffed his leg and then decided that Elder C. was his territory.  Yep a dog took and massive pee on my comp’s leg and he didn’t even notice it.
March 30, 2015
         Our last day together.  After I wrote in my journal yesterday, we got a call telling us that Elder C. was leaving and I would get a new companion.  Basically we have spent the entire day today having Elder Castro say goodbye to people.  He spent 2 HOURS in one members house saying goodbye.  It was such a waste of time.  But I didn’t say a word…I just had to survive one more day. Elder Castro actually told me that he was most upset about leaving because I was “killing” all of his investigators and that my only purpose on the mission was to “kill” people.  I just kept my cool.
Miracle #188: This morning after 10 hard rejections, we found 2 solid and friendly future investigators.  This taught me a lot about persistence and faith.
         The funny part of the day was visiting a family in the ward who knew immediately why we were having special transfers.  They started consoling me by saying that most people experience at least one “divorce” in their lifetime.
March 31, 2015
         Today was such a great day!  Sometimes you don’t even know how bad things are until they stop being bad.  I got a new companion this morning and it is awesome to be with someone who doesn’t hate me.  He is a gringo named Elder White and I really like him.  We taught an amazing 6 lessons today and we actually worked together and had the spirit with us.  What a difference it makes in teaching when you have unity in your companionship.  I can’t believe how much I missed having the spirit.  Now that the change has been made, I am really very happy that I didn’t try to tough it out any longer with Elder C.  I think that I will have a great time with Elder White.
Miracle #189: We had a contact who started by answering the door grudgingly and was crying.  By the end of the contact, she let us in to share a message with her and she felt much better.
         The funniest part of the day was when my companion asked some random questions to our contacts, like “do you like sweets?”  We just laughed and had a good time working today.
April 1, 2015 – P-DAY
         Today was another good day. …at least most of it was.  In this mission we are allowed to play paintball as a zone, so for the very first time in my whole life, I went paintballing.  The best game was the first dame because I went all “Call of Duty” ghosts on the other team  There was a house in the field and me and my companion sprinted for the house and made it.  I took out soooo many people super stealth-like until I got shot in the back. It was so much fun!!!

Miracle #190: The taxi only charged us half price to go to the internet café and then the bishop picked us up from the café.  
The reason why this is a miracle is that I twisted my ankle really badly in the last game of paintball. I couldn’t even bear any weight on it for about 4 hours.  I can now limp around a little bit on it, but it hurts like the dickens.  I really hope that it is not broken or else I will end up sitting around the office until it heals.  I have decided to just lay low for a couple of days and see what happens.
April 2, 2105
         Well today was quite possibly the longest day of my entire mission so far.  Once again, I had to stay in the house because of my ankle.  It is blown up and black and blue and I am struggling to walk.  We decided to give it one more day before we go to the doctor.  I am really hoping that my ankle is just badly sprained.  Every time I look at it I can’t help think of an obese person and it just makes me laugh. 
Miracle #191: I have been able to rest a lot today which is honestly not a miracle, but it was the only good part of the day.
         I cannot believe how stir crazy I get just sitting around. I am going to leave tomorrow even if it is just for a few hours of hobbling around.  The funny part of the day was just learning all about my companion and his life.  He is a bug guy from Southern Utah who ropes and fights fires.
         In reflecting about this hard week I realize that I didn’t do too hot this week but yeah I think everything will end up fine because I learned a lot about the stuff I need to change from my companionship with Elder Castro. I’m going to be working really hard with my new comp to overcome the things that really were tough about my last companionship.  I’m going to improve myself and never going to have problems again.   

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